I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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