Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize