Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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