Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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