So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize