My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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