ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
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