Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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