Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
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Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
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It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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