well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
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As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
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I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The adults are the big ones right?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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