Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Pants 0. Shit 1.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize