So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
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He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
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You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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