i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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