Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
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Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
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Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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