the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize