are you still at the devil's house?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize