I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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