atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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