I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
where am i from again
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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