i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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