Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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