He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Someone shattered a urinal.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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