Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I think I just sharted jello shots
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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