Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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