Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize