I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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