We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize