i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
you mean i was at the winter classic?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize