i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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