There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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