That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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