I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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