Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize