it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
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