I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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