I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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