Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize