i just google imaged poop.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my poor anus
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize