Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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