i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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