??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
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doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
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I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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