My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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