Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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