I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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