Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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