4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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