I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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