I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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