is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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