Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
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So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
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I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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